i spent lying in my death bed for the past few days watching tv series and movies. how exciting is that?! (no.)

i finally finished watching arrested development season 1 (weeeeeeeeeee). love love love love love it. the story telling is cohesive and riveting and the situations the characters find themselves in are funny. i look forward to the movie!! it's actually hard to choose who my favorite character is so i'd take the easy route and pick who i don't like: michael cera. end of discussion.

i also continued watching pushing daisies. i started watching it a few months ago but i have not followed through. i just have to finish the last episode and i'll be done with the first season. one of my favorite characters is emerson cod because he has a way with words. oh, and "kick, pooh, kick!"

i saw the invasion (nicole kidman), blades of glory (again. still funny.),  28 weeks later, and
meet the robinsons (faulty timeline, dammit) among other movies i keep watching for the nth time because i'm a sad loser.

i played 2 games of tetris in front of my dad. he was so addicted to it back in the 90s. i was too. i think i was really good but my game controller now is just a cheap one so i totally didn't control the game well (nice...). and i lost both games with level 8 as the farthest level i've reached that day. haha. of course i can do better. i was just taking more risks that time. (haha, not an excuse. sorry but it was intentional.)

i hate my brother for trying to run my life when i can't even get up to speed with it. there's a place for everything so there's definitely a place for me so quit it!

i had a dream about john lloyd cruz. FAFA!!

i fucking hate that question.

i have a video in progress but it's forced. i actually don't feel like finishing it anymore. i mean, what is the point? it's not even portfolio-material.. 

i'm planning to study french soon. i guess i need it? or not really. i'm more inclined to learning asian languages (i studied japanese and mandarin in school) but if i can't put what i learned into practice, what's the point? 

i hear my father compare me to my younger sister in terms of driving skills one time too many. i can't drive, she can. shut up. i have a car, she doesn't have one so fuck that. did she even help in cleaning the car when it was submerged in flood water from the typhoon? NO. and i even had to sit on the wet car seats to clean the inside and risk myself of infection because my underwear got wet. all she knows is how to drive MY CAR so fuck that noise EVER. that doesn't give me less chances to learn to drive myself.

i'm fucking ugly.

what the fuck are my goals? i have no idea now. i've always had this annoying feeling that i've had a past life but i don't remember it at all. it must have been glorious, but knowing me, that's just a part of my self stuck in the idea of grandeur that was talking. but whatever, what i don't remember, i can't miss. anyway, i can't help but feel a little anger for some things. i guess that's how i cope. anger is good. i just don't like being a sponge, taking in everything and not having an active emotion. at least anger makes me alert and impulsive, and i feel decisive that i'd be like fuck consequences with a butcher's knife.

i hate hate hate hate CV writing. i just can't digest the fact that my adult life is being objectified on one piece of fucking paper that's not even scented. how that's for no personality huh. ok, scratch the scented part (it will smell good if you do). that paper, that's what people will use to JUDGE you. a fucking piece of paper that came from a fucking tree. i mean, do lovers get judged on how true their relationship is from a vandal of their initials that they carved out on the trunk of a fucking tree? analogy fail, but still. sheeeeeeet. *madface*

i hate calling people on the phone when it's not part of my job. learn fucking english to save your sorry life.

on the brighter side (not that bright, but in a sense it's brighter), here's a clip of me singing (or trying to) a song originally by demi lovato, who honestly has the michelle screamsinger branch syndrome. girl...

i stopped watching after the first 10 minutes of fame because it bored me. i did not even try to compare it to, say, high school musical (easy pick!) and expect highly of it. yep, fame comes with a price. you have to live up to what you were advertised for or else..

jennifer's body was blecch. sure i watched everything, but i wanted everyone to just shut up for once. it's a diablo cody movie, therefore there are LOTS OF LINES, damn straight. has she not had enough with juno? it was refreshing though to see megan fox smile. she always has this "eh" face she does all the time in front of the paparazzi. 

ladies and gentlemen, megan "rip off my shirt and snarl" fox. stunning.

the most interesting movie i've seen this week would have to be the underrated sydney white. it stars amanda bynes. what everyone doesn't know is that sydney white is an adaptation of snow white and the 7 dwarfs. one thing i like about the movie is that "the prince" was given more character. he wasn't just the most popular and good-looking guy who saves the day, he is also a decent singer, a video game master and a volunteer who continues to help the elderly when he has already finished his community service a year before. and how could i say no to THIS:

please and thank you.

how random is a post on swimming carelessly written by me? very.

i used to think i was just ok as a swimmer. i had lessons when i was in grade 2 and i learned quick. i knew the basics. i enjoyed wearing goggles. i was not into showering before jumping in the water to prevent shock. and i didn't care if the pebble flooring surrounding the pool made the buttocks part of my swimsuit run. 

silly me would get in the wrong classes sometimes. that made me think i learned in advance, lol. then the instructor would notice me getting ahead of the pack and send me to the correct class.  i don't remember making friends when i was learning, or maybe i did but it was really casual. no names involved. and i don't remember looking for the same person in the next swim day. i'd just talk to whoever was beside me, then move on. i was just there to learn, and to get wet, of course.

i didn't mind nose diving until it hurt one day. my face hit the water badly that it entered my nose. i guess since then, i learned my lesson not to go head first anymore. and it pretty much gave me phobia of pool slides since you go the same direction when you ride one. something about the unknown makes me shudder at the thought of pool slides. i mean, you don't really know how deep the water is until you've slid down and get submerged in it. there's also no certainty how long you're going to be underwater when you hit the bottom. it's just that feeling of danger that i don't like. but i'm not totally terrified of pool slides. i would just hang on longer at the top of the slide and it would require prodding from other people to convince me to let go. diving boards are terrible though. i'll never set foot in high ones like the olympic standard kind. NEVER. don't push me.

i grew up playing with my stepsisters. i treated them as playmates/friends so the discovery of our familial relationship went smooth. we used to go swimming a lot. my stepsisters enjoyed underwater somersaults but i didn't. i just couldn't make myself do it. halfway in, i would swim back to the surface. we also tried to take a peek of crotches of little girls underwater. (take note:, this was back when i was like 7 years old so all i got from peeking was a few laughs and nothing else.) we also thought the gutter of the swimming pool had frog eggs so we'd be both fascinated and grossed out. silly!

speaking of silly, somewhere in time, i remember thinking that there is another way to survive when you are underwater, and that is to open your mouth to let the water in (no swallowing) and expel it by exhaling. no inhaling in the process, just exhaling alone. it's like wringing yourself out of carbon dioxide. i figured it actually doesn't work when i put my theory in test and i came out of the water wheezing, holy shit. another thought i had was that if you can't swim, then don't swim. simple as that, but of course, when you are in panic, you'd rather flail your arms in the water in hopes that you'd stay afloat. stop panicking and stay calm then. act dead and you'd float like a log. you'll be much lighter when you don't constrict any muscle and just let the water cradle you. this i have tried and it works, only if we are not talking about direction here. the water will carry you to where it flows and when you are heading for the falls and you don't know how to swim, then it's a great day to die. this is only good for when people are in contained areas such as pools and water tanks (wtf).

i leave you now with david hasselhoff's duet with regine velasquez. 

yesterday i was supposed to watch this movie i've been waiting for months. i checked the schedule the other day at the cinema near my place, and the film was supposed to open october 7. it turns out, when i got there, they pulled out the movie on the same day and showed this other film that just looked horrible. i could not even bother to read the title. it just looked horrible. ick. nast. kate gosselin's hair.

i was then led to an arcade nearby. bright lights. sound effects. noise. tickets. i swore to myself that i would not set foot in an arcade anymore since i lost my bag in one last year, but i don't know... i can't help it! and every time i leave an arcade, i feel guilty, or empty (heh, empty in the pockets is more like it?). just great. i tried this *wait for the ditziness* pull-rod metal-ball number-combo thing which i don't know the term for, pity, but i saw it has an indiana jones on it (like it has relevance, puh). i had a winning streak at first, earning 9 tokens for like 3 rounds, then it went downhill from there. AS EXPECTED. seriously have i not learned from my years of experience in gambling that when the chance you're finally waiting for has arrived, you should take it then QUIT right away? i mean, come to think of it, if you win the lottery, would you take all your winnings and buy lotto tickets again so you can win more? OF COURSE NOT, what the fuck kind of question is that, right? you've had your chance to win, why take another? so i kept losing and finally had to buy more tokens to take back what i lost (like that's going to happen, har har), then finally earned some tickets from another game. i went to the redemption booth, and what did i get after exchanging 97 tickets? a rubber eraser, a key chain, 2 sets of hair pins and a piece of potchi strawberry cream gummy candy. wow what a deal! so totally worth it! bring out the champagne! i never learn!

anywooze, it hit me how much some people take the arcade seriously. like, damn serious business, it's actually scary. i saw a couple of women stand by this machine where you drop coins in the slot then they all pile up eventually, and when some coins fall off the surface, they are converted to tickets. well, when these women run out of coins to drop, one of them will go to the ticket booth to have their bills changed, and the other stays behind to look after the machine and all the tickets they've collected. mind you, they never even bother to pull the tickets off the slot until they are done abusing it. they just let them hang on there and touch the floor. they've got thousands of tickets already, the bunch they got was so thick! now what are these tickets for? to redeem bigger and more expensive items at the redemption area, like stuffed toys and calculators. what a bunch of idiots. do they not know they could get the same items with, i don't know, money? with less money than what they've spent in order to get tickets that much? what the f were they thinking? enough. i then went home with a heavy heart (oh the dramz, really now) and a lighter pocket. i wish i could kick myself in the nut i imagined i had. then i found consolation from my stepmother who said it was just one time.and to myself, i was like, i wonder what movie i could watch tonight. only there was, later in the evening, a blackout that lasted the whole night. WOW TALK ABOUT GREAT LUCK!

the blackout reminded me of the infection movie i saw last month, and it made me shudder at the thought of my room being infiltrated by zombies when there's no where else to go but absolutely you're-fucked nowhere. then i looked for my cat which i found downstairs, so i brought her upstairs into my room so i can just pet her. she liked it for a few minutes, only to hiss at me for an unknown reason. it was probably the dog in the other room. the funny thing is i fell asleep in the midst of the blackout (it was evening anyway) and had a dream of being in a house with everyone and the pets (and plastic dolls even, lol) getting infected and turning into zombies. and when i was about to get attacked, everything would rewind, and i'd see myself running away from the crazies once again. can i just say WTF?

today is no different with my luck, overall. i left early to ride the mrt to work but unfortunately, the mrt has run out of power supply. at one corner of the station, i saw a booth where people were selling marked down VCDs, and i found a copy of THE MACHINIST for P20, yay! so i bought that and took the bus afterwards. and this bus is no different with other buses, surprise, as it took like forever from one bus stop to another. "we're just doing our job" as the conductor said to a complaining passenger. what job, stalling?! (in the middle of the ride, i see the mrt train passing by. so it worked when i got on the bus. oy!) then when i arrived at the office, someone sat at the desk i use probably assuming i was on my day off, and i had no choice but to move and use a different computer. then my msn messenger won't work, yes! then i switched to a different computer, but my files were not synchronized there, awesome! then i finally found a place where i can work only to find out that my work schedule was changed yesterday, right when i left, and that I SHOULD HAVE MY OFF DAY TODAY. WOW. so much to take. woooohoooo. oh look, a four-leaf clover, on its stem feet running away from me!

it's not so bad though. it's not like i'm going to pull my hair out and set them on fire to make me feel any better.  i just thought it was funny and frustrating at the same time. oh before i forget, aren't debts so funny? funny is attractive, yes?