debbie downer

i fucking hate that question.

i have a video in progress but it's forced. i actually don't feel like finishing it anymore. i mean, what is the point? it's not even portfolio-material.. 

i'm planning to study french soon. i guess i need it? or not really. i'm more inclined to learning asian languages (i studied japanese and mandarin in school) but if i can't put what i learned into practice, what's the point? 

i hear my father compare me to my younger sister in terms of driving skills one time too many. i can't drive, she can. shut up. i have a car, she doesn't have one so fuck that. did she even help in cleaning the car when it was submerged in flood water from the typhoon? NO. and i even had to sit on the wet car seats to clean the inside and risk myself of infection because my underwear got wet. all she knows is how to drive MY CAR so fuck that noise EVER. that doesn't give me less chances to learn to drive myself.

i'm fucking ugly.

what the fuck are my goals? i have no idea now. i've always had this annoying feeling that i've had a past life but i don't remember it at all. it must have been glorious, but knowing me, that's just a part of my self stuck in the idea of grandeur that was talking. but whatever, what i don't remember, i can't miss. anyway, i can't help but feel a little anger for some things. i guess that's how i cope. anger is good. i just don't like being a sponge, taking in everything and not having an active emotion. at least anger makes me alert and impulsive, and i feel decisive that i'd be like fuck consequences with a butcher's knife.

i hate hate hate hate CV writing. i just can't digest the fact that my adult life is being objectified on one piece of fucking paper that's not even scented. how that's for no personality huh. ok, scratch the scented part (it will smell good if you do). that paper, that's what people will use to JUDGE you. a fucking piece of paper that came from a fucking tree. i mean, do lovers get judged on how true their relationship is from a vandal of their initials that they carved out on the trunk of a fucking tree? analogy fail, but still. sheeeeeeet. *madface*

i hate calling people on the phone when it's not part of my job. learn fucking english to save your sorry life.

on the brighter side (not that bright, but in a sense it's brighter), here's a clip of me singing (or trying to) a song originally by demi lovato, who honestly has the michelle screamsinger branch syndrome. girl...

tags: video  french  foreign  language  comparison  sister  car  past  life  anger  cv  writing  phone  call  demi  lovato  

links: digg this    del.icio.us    technorati    reddit